Mountains and Valleys

This was originally written on Monday, July 23rd, but I am just now posting it.

Something still feels like its missing. I don't know what it is. Technically, I am all set, and ready to go, but I just feel like there is still something missing.
I need restoration in my soul. I need satisfaction that only comes from the Lord. The Body of Christ has overwhelmed me with such love and support. I couldn't ask for anything more! But, for some reason, I just feel so empty right now. I am so thirsty and unsatisfied. I feel like I can never get enough or ever be complete, even though I know I have been made whole in Christ. There is a quote by C.S. Lewis that comes to mind:

“If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.”
I am so down right now and truly have no reason to be! I have been so blessed and been given so much to look forward to. The Lord has called me to a specific purpose and I have been given the opportunity to fulfill this.

I feel very alone in this right now. And, even though, I know I am never alone because Christ is always with me, and I know that I have so many people behind me and that love me, I still feel this way. When I think about Cambodia, I don't just think about this upcoming trip, I think about what is going to happen after that, because I know that something will. I know that this is just the beginning. When I think about Cambodia, I think about the bigger picture and all of the things that come along with the possibility of living over there and hopefully teaching over there some day. So, just sayin, I'm not this dramatic over a short term mission trip. Haha All of these thoughts and feelings are towards something much bigger than what is going to happen in August.
I feel like I can never get enough. I can never be truly satisfied until I'm dead and gone and at the feet of Christ. I long for this. It sounds weird, I know, having a longing for death. But, I know I have much much work to do here before I can finally be home.

These past few weeks have gone by quickly and a lot has happened. I am happy to say that all three of my fundraisers have been unbelievably successful, unlike my grades in my math class right now...bummer. Hopefully I can pull a B. The Lord has given me a few chances to reach out to some people lately, and I am glad that He did. It was such a blessing. There are so many lost people I am around every single day and I am glad that the Lord provided me a few opportunities to give them a little piece of His love here lately. I must get better at heeding to the Spirit's call! There have been many times where I can feel the Lord leading me to talk to someone, or say something in regards to Christ, but I chicken out. I'm glad  Christ didn't chicken out before He went to the cross. I gotta be more like Him.
Sunday night was the Five Guys fundraiser. We had a great turn out! It has meant so much to me that so many people care! I don't know what I would do without the people the Lord has put in my life.

Tonight, the sweet lady and her daughter who I am living with at the moment, hosted a jewelry party for me! We had a great turn out for this as well! She went all out with awesome finger foods and everything! It was so great! I am so thankful for this! I was able to inform more people about the orphanage and how the Lord is working. I am still in disbelief that people are so willing to help me and this cause.

On a side note, I didn't find out until recently, that there are elephants, monkeys, tigers, and huge snakes in Cambodia! Where the heck am I going? haha

This past weekend I was able to meet with my friend who is from Cambodia. What a blessing that the Lord put her in my life less than a year ago! He was setting things up all along! I am glad we finally got to sit down and chat a little, cause my pronunciation on some of these Khmer words was totally off haha! She even gave me two books, one about the history of Cambodia and facts about it, an evangelist type book written in Khmer and English, and a Khmer-English dictionary! She helped me with the pronunciation of common phrases, how to bow, what to say to who at what age and when, a few foods I can order that should be relatively safe for my first try, and how to ask for the bathroom lol. It was so amazing getting to spend time with her and hearing some of the stories about her parents who were prisoners in the Khmer Rouge genocide. I am so thankful for the Lord putting her in my life. There is definitely a reason why I know her, and its not just because she is Cambodian.

Blessings,
Laura