"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."
My heart has such a longing right now. I so long to be in Cambodia at AGHO surrounded by His children. If I could somehow snap my fingers and be there this instant I would. When I look at pictures of their joyful faces I almost tear up every time. How I wish I could be holding them now, hugging them, playing with them, speaking broken Khmer with them! I just can't get past this right now! I am kept awake at night thinking of these children. Their faces have already been engraved into my memory. I just pray that the Lord would show Himself to these children everyday so they can bask in His beautiful presence.
Lately, I've been thinking about Heaven a lot whenever I worship or pray. I imagine myself on my knees in worship at the throne of Christ looking at all the Elders as they also bow at His feet and seeing the strange creatures at His throne! I picture myself bowing down and crying, "Holy, Holy, Holy!" along with all the others in Heaven. I cannot wait to be there and do this for the rest of eternity. For some reason, I imagine all of those little children in Cambodia doing the same thing in reverence to their King!
Oh precious Lord, I humble myself and wait patiently for your mighty hand to work! I know my God is the Author of Salvation, the Redeemer, Comforter, Shepard, Provider, and Sustainer! He has instilled this longing in my heart for Cambodia and I know He will fulfill this desire He has given me!
I am so thankful for this journey the Lord is taking me on right now. He has put so many wonderful people in my life who are praying for me and this mission! I am so humbled at the thought that He loves me! He loves ME! The thought still is incomprehensible at times. I am so blessed to be called His daughter! How blessed am I that He would reveal the desire to love Cambodia? I have often been thinking and question just why He has called me to this, and why me? I know that He will equip me in everything I need to carry out His sovereign will, but sometimes I still cannot fathom how this will be.
I hadn't heard the story of David and Goliath in a long time until Sunday. I was reminded that the battle has already been won! I can't help but put myself in David's shoes here lately. I look at my current situation and I think to myself how in the world is this going to happen? How in the world am I going to Cambodia? But, I know that if wee little David can defeat his giant, than My God can certainly defeat anything that stands in my way of doing what I know wholeheartedly the Holy Spirit told me to do. I know that "all things are possible with God!"
Please continue to pray that the Lord would provide financially and make a way to Cambodia!
Love,
Laura :)
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Waiting...
The Lord has just been reminding me of verses left and right! I am so thankful for Him and His Word! I was just reminded of Romans 8:25 which says, "But if we HOPE for what we do not see, we WAIT for it with patience." Whew, I'll tell ya what, I am so glad that the Lord reminded me of this verse. I think that I have gotten the message that I have to wait. For how long? I don't know. For days, months, years even? I am not sure. But, I have been given a peace, ya know that kind that surpasses all understanding, that everything is gonna be alright. So, I think I've got the waiting thing down pat. Not saying I'm doing a good job of it, or being patient at all, but that I am aware that what God wants me to do right now is wait. The hope part is where I am lacking.
Why do I not have hope that the Lord would finish the good work He has started in me? Why do I not have hope that He is faithful and His word is true? Why do I not have hope that His will and timing is perfect in all things? Why do I not have hope that He is my Portion and more than all I need? I pray that the Lord would enable me to have HOPE in Him, His promises, His timing, His word, and His love.
I was reading a friends older blog entries of her first trip to Cambodia. She was talking about how she was trying to understand what hope actually meant. She described her experiences in the village and the poverty she was witnessing and how she was so broken for this lost nation. She then went on to describe how she could still see God's light among all the darkness surrounding this nation's horrifying past and the presence of idol worship. She told a story of how when the people of the village would get deathly ill, despite their commitment to false gods, that they knew the only TRUE God of healing was Christ.
It made me also ponder on what the true meaning of hope is, and I have come to this conclusion for myself; Hope is believing that anything is possible with Christ whenever the odds seem impossible. This guy can walk on water, raise the dead, and defeated death Himself. If there is anyone or anything I could ever have HOPE in, it is the POWER of JESUS CHRIST!!!
Why do I not have hope that the Lord would finish the good work He has started in me? Why do I not have hope that He is faithful and His word is true? Why do I not have hope that His will and timing is perfect in all things? Why do I not have hope that He is my Portion and more than all I need? I pray that the Lord would enable me to have HOPE in Him, His promises, His timing, His word, and His love.
I was reading a friends older blog entries of her first trip to Cambodia. She was talking about how she was trying to understand what hope actually meant. She described her experiences in the village and the poverty she was witnessing and how she was so broken for this lost nation. She then went on to describe how she could still see God's light among all the darkness surrounding this nation's horrifying past and the presence of idol worship. She told a story of how when the people of the village would get deathly ill, despite their commitment to false gods, that they knew the only TRUE God of healing was Christ.
It made me also ponder on what the true meaning of hope is, and I have come to this conclusion for myself; Hope is believing that anything is possible with Christ whenever the odds seem impossible. This guy can walk on water, raise the dead, and defeated death Himself. If there is anyone or anything I could ever have HOPE in, it is the POWER of JESUS CHRIST!!!
Friday, June 22, 2012
Trusting the Lord
I have rewritten this blog post many many times tonight. For some reason, I just can't seem to get things right. Thank goodness none of it depends on me. Thank goodness that nothing depends on how much I do for God, but what He has DONE for me. I tend to forget this.
Wednesday night a group of dear friends at church laid hands on me and prayed for me and this mission. I am so thankful for their council, prayer, and support in all of this. It truly does make a difference.
Right now, I am very fearful. I am fearful I won't get to go to Cambodia because I don't have enough money. I keep telling myself that God is bigger than money and that nothing can interfere with His will for my life. But, then I start to think...what if it's God's will for me not to go to Cambodia yet? I get angry at the thought of this and frustrated. I want to go! Lord, why would you tell me to go to only make me wait even longer? I know that the Lord's timing is perfect. Everytime I remind myself of that I alwasy think back to the verse in Romans where it says that "at the RIGHT TIME, Christ died for the ungodly." I mean, if God can appoint the correct time for His own son to die a horrible death on a crossto take His wrath towards sinners so that we may even have a hope to be with Him one day, then I am pretty darn sure everything else is in His perfect timing as well. But, right now its just hard to wait! That is always what the Lord is telling me though..."wait and see what I will do."
I don't know why I have been able to trust the Lord with so many other things in my life, but when it comes to this, I have had the most trouble out of anything that has ever occurred in my life. Normally, I would never question the Lord's will for my life. I would never be fearful of what He has planned or what He doesn't have planned. I also know that the Lord is teaching me to trust Him. Man, I'll tell ya what...I have been taught a lot by the Lord and been aware of it at the time...but nothing has been this hard. Why have I lost the ability to trust Him? Since when do I not have the courage to walk by faith?
But, you see, that's just it. I have NEVER had faith, NEVER had courage that has been brought upon by my own efforts...it's only because Christ has given me the ability to trust Him, to have faith in Him, and to have courage that I have been able to do anything at all. I pray that the Lord would instill a sense of security in my heart to be humbly accepting of whatever His will is for my life at this moment in time and that He would stir a longing in my heart for the things that are pleasing to Him and to despise the things I want for my own selfish endeavors.
Wednesday night a group of dear friends at church laid hands on me and prayed for me and this mission. I am so thankful for their council, prayer, and support in all of this. It truly does make a difference.
Right now, I am very fearful. I am fearful I won't get to go to Cambodia because I don't have enough money. I keep telling myself that God is bigger than money and that nothing can interfere with His will for my life. But, then I start to think...what if it's God's will for me not to go to Cambodia yet? I get angry at the thought of this and frustrated. I want to go! Lord, why would you tell me to go to only make me wait even longer? I know that the Lord's timing is perfect. Everytime I remind myself of that I alwasy think back to the verse in Romans where it says that "at the RIGHT TIME, Christ died for the ungodly." I mean, if God can appoint the correct time for His own son to die a horrible death on a crossto take His wrath towards sinners so that we may even have a hope to be with Him one day, then I am pretty darn sure everything else is in His perfect timing as well. But, right now its just hard to wait! That is always what the Lord is telling me though..."wait and see what I will do."
I don't know why I have been able to trust the Lord with so many other things in my life, but when it comes to this, I have had the most trouble out of anything that has ever occurred in my life. Normally, I would never question the Lord's will for my life. I would never be fearful of what He has planned or what He doesn't have planned. I also know that the Lord is teaching me to trust Him. Man, I'll tell ya what...I have been taught a lot by the Lord and been aware of it at the time...but nothing has been this hard. Why have I lost the ability to trust Him? Since when do I not have the courage to walk by faith?
But, you see, that's just it. I have NEVER had faith, NEVER had courage that has been brought upon by my own efforts...it's only because Christ has given me the ability to trust Him, to have faith in Him, and to have courage that I have been able to do anything at all. I pray that the Lord would instill a sense of security in my heart to be humbly accepting of whatever His will is for my life at this moment in time and that He would stir a longing in my heart for the things that are pleasing to Him and to despise the things I want for my own selfish endeavors.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
We are weak, but He is strong! Yes! Jesus Loves Me!
This week has taken many different turns. I know that the Lord is teaching me to trust Him in ALL circumstances through out the entire process of this journey. If there is ever a time where I could ask you to cover me in prayer, it is now. When the Holy Spirit revealed to me the calling to serve in Cambodia, He also revealed to me that Satan would try and stop me. Never did I think that he would go to this much trouble to do so. I will admit, I am feeling discouraged, helpless even. BUT, I will NOT fall into despair because the ENEMY HAS BEEN DEFEATED! I must cling to the cross with which through Christ the Lord has SET ME FREE from the power of sin and death! No longer is it me that lives, but CHRIST that lives in me! How often I forget that the Lord tells us in scripture that we have been given every gift and spiritual blessing. If God is for me, who can be against me? We are no longer slaves to sin but slaves to RIGHTEOUSNESS!
My family sometimes volunteers at a local home for children that have been taken away from their parents and have been given a second chance. We have been with a house full of 9 girls this week. This is only the second time I have been able to go with my parents and WHOA is it a humbling experience. These girls are just as much orphans as the children in Cambodia. The Lord has taught me a lot this week through being there and getting to know the girls. There is one specific little girl who is more than a handful and brings me so much joy at the same time. Two nights ago, I was reading her a bedtime story. It was one of the Bearenstein Bears books and it was titled Bearenstien Bears Count Their Blessings. As I was reading it and she began to fall asleep, I knew that the Lord had me pick up this book for a reason. Though I am struggling to trust the Lord and struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I must know that the Lord is faithful. Look at how many things He has blessed me with already? Why would I not believe in His truths of faithfulness when I have seen Him do so many things for my good and His glory already in my life? I don't know why I keep thinking that any of this depends on me and my performance, or how much I do or seek or plead to the Lord. NO, none of this is even about me! When will I get this through my head!?
The Lord has definitely been letting me know that I have NO control in regards to the plan I think I have made for my life. He knows the plans that He has made for me when I was still in the womb and my days were in His book before I was even born. He has a plan for me for good and a hope for a future! I must remember that this plan, His plan, is flawless. No, I am not saying my life will be flawless, in fact we are guaranteed tribulation in this life, but I am saying that whatever happens, good or bad in my eyes, is just what the Lord has intended for my good and His glory.
My dear friend and prayer partner through out this time left me a message on my phone just yesterday. She has told me before that her mother has been given the spiritual gift of prophetic dreams. Now, I have never met anyone else with this gift, but I firmly believe, that like Joseph in the Bible, that the revelations that are brought to her mother are very much God sent. Due to distance, I have only met my friend's mother once in my life, but apparently the Lord revealed to her a message to give me. This is what it was, "Whatever your doing, keep doing, and God will give you an answer by July 10th." Talk about freaky!!! These past few months I have experienced things that I have read about in the Bible that I never thought would happen to me. All I can say is that GOD IS REAL and He is working right now!!! Never have I believed this more in my entire life than right now. Yes, I am struggling, but when I am weak then I am strong; not my power but by the power that lives within me by the Holy Spirit!
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ESV
Please, please pray that the Lord would give me guidance these next few weeks and that He would provide the funding for me to carry out His will that has He has revealed to me.
Grace and Peace,
Laura
My family sometimes volunteers at a local home for children that have been taken away from their parents and have been given a second chance. We have been with a house full of 9 girls this week. This is only the second time I have been able to go with my parents and WHOA is it a humbling experience. These girls are just as much orphans as the children in Cambodia. The Lord has taught me a lot this week through being there and getting to know the girls. There is one specific little girl who is more than a handful and brings me so much joy at the same time. Two nights ago, I was reading her a bedtime story. It was one of the Bearenstein Bears books and it was titled Bearenstien Bears Count Their Blessings. As I was reading it and she began to fall asleep, I knew that the Lord had me pick up this book for a reason. Though I am struggling to trust the Lord and struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I must know that the Lord is faithful. Look at how many things He has blessed me with already? Why would I not believe in His truths of faithfulness when I have seen Him do so many things for my good and His glory already in my life? I don't know why I keep thinking that any of this depends on me and my performance, or how much I do or seek or plead to the Lord. NO, none of this is even about me! When will I get this through my head!?
The Lord has definitely been letting me know that I have NO control in regards to the plan I think I have made for my life. He knows the plans that He has made for me when I was still in the womb and my days were in His book before I was even born. He has a plan for me for good and a hope for a future! I must remember that this plan, His plan, is flawless. No, I am not saying my life will be flawless, in fact we are guaranteed tribulation in this life, but I am saying that whatever happens, good or bad in my eyes, is just what the Lord has intended for my good and His glory.
My dear friend and prayer partner through out this time left me a message on my phone just yesterday. She has told me before that her mother has been given the spiritual gift of prophetic dreams. Now, I have never met anyone else with this gift, but I firmly believe, that like Joseph in the Bible, that the revelations that are brought to her mother are very much God sent. Due to distance, I have only met my friend's mother once in my life, but apparently the Lord revealed to her a message to give me. This is what it was, "Whatever your doing, keep doing, and God will give you an answer by July 10th." Talk about freaky!!! These past few months I have experienced things that I have read about in the Bible that I never thought would happen to me. All I can say is that GOD IS REAL and He is working right now!!! Never have I believed this more in my entire life than right now. Yes, I am struggling, but when I am weak then I am strong; not my power but by the power that lives within me by the Holy Spirit!
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ESV
Please, please pray that the Lord would give me guidance these next few weeks and that He would provide the funding for me to carry out His will that has He has revealed to me.
Grace and Peace,
Laura
Friday, June 15, 2012
The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me!
Today has been a little rough. I can definitely say that I am now beginning to see some spiritual warfare. This is NOT to say that I have been defeated or will be defeated because the battle has already been won! So often I tend to forget this, that I need to stop striving and let the Lord be the Lord because He will be exalted among the nations and all the earth no matter any circumstances! So, I need to just BE STILL and trust Him.
I called upon one of my dear friends/mentor to talk and pray about all of this. I am so glad I did. The Lord truly speaks to me through people. A lot, actually. She gave me this verse, "I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills His purpose for me" Psalm 57:2. It reminded me that the Lord has given me a purpose in this life and I am just so lucky that He has chosen to reveal it to me. I feel my purpose as I know right now, is to have love for Cambodia and the children at AGHO. It is not me who will make any of this happen, but the Lord! He is so awesome in power and deserves all of the glory! May He be glorified in every part of this journey, even the parts that are tough and seem to be impossible.
Grace and Peace,
Laura :)
Thursday, June 14, 2012
" You were made for this!"
I am a bit new at this blogging thing, so please forgive my absence. I guess I am going to have to get used to talking to what seems like the whole world at times. I am used to being transparent, but not like this...not yet at least.
As support continues to roll in, slowly but surely, I have found myself in much doubt. I keep telling myself, "the Lord will provide!" It is so easy to say these things, but another thing to believe it. I know that ultimately God's will will be done, and that in the grand scheme of things He is not hindered by circumstances; but why can't I get this through my head? The Lord is most certainly teaching me to truly trust in Him on an entirely different level than ever before. I keep telling myself that no matter what happens, I know that it is God's sovereign plan being fulfilled. No matter how much I want something, if the Lord is not ready to reveal that to me or have that happen, I must accept that His ways are higher and that He knows what He's doing!
As humans, it is our instinct to want to have control...but sometimes...we just have to fully surrender and trust that He makes all things work together for good for those who believe. I feel that I have just realized that I am beginning this process of full surrender. I say process because I know it won't happen overnight. I must learn to trust and surrender to His will for me for Cambodia. I have told myself that I would be devastated if I wasn't able to go when I have planned. But, that's just the thing...if you look at the sentence above it is I, I, I, I, I! It is NOT about me, my timing, what I want, or what I think is best. It is about what the Lord has planned for me, NOT what I have planned for myself. The verse Proverbs 16:9 comes to mind, "A man may plan his way, but it is the Lord that establishes his steps." Please pray that I would be reminded of this verse daily and to trust in Him and His mighty ways that are greater than our understanding.
Today I met with a dear friend who is giving me guidance along this way. After being able to share with her the whole story and countless examples of how God has put confirmations and people and opportunities in my life, I distinctly remember her saying one thing that impacted me the most, "You were made for this!" When she said this, I felt a sense of peace automatically come over me and I believe it was the Lord speaking through her at that moment. When I think about Cambodia, I have an instinct that this is only the beginning. I can look back and see how God has been setting this up for a while now. She told me that this wasn't just some "mission trip." I believe her, and it only confirms what the Lord has already put on my heart.
As some of you know, I am studying to be and educator. A few years ago I looked at the option of teaching in a different country....which country you ask....Cambodia! Little did I know that 3 years later the Lord would later reveal to me His plan.
At that point in time I didn't even know where Cambodia was on a map! Now that I have yielded to this calling, I hope to one day teach at a school in Cambodia and be able to open the eyes of these children to a whole new world of opportunities through giving them the gift of education.
For right now, it is still all in the making and authorized by the Maker and I am overwhelmed at what the Lord has in store! The truth is though...we were ALL made for this! We were made for His glory to fulfill His mission!
Please pray the Lord would continue to provide!
Grace and Peace,
Laura :)
Friday, June 1, 2012
How it all began...
Hello! Welcome to my new blog! This blog will be specifically used to talk about my upcoming trip to A Greater Hope Orphanage in Cambodia! My friend Ginny will also be accompanying me! We ask for your prayers as the Lord prepares our hearts for this incredible journey to serve the least of these.
How did this all come about you ask? Well, it is a pretty awesome story...let me fill you in.
Earlier this year during a worship service with many other fellow believers I felt the Holy Spirit speak to me while in prayer. Now, most of the time when I feel the Spirit speaking over me, He says things such as "Child, don't you know that I am the great I AM?," or the most common "Wait and see what I will do"; but this time it was very VERY different. He gave me specific instructions. This had never happened to me and I was very taken a back, and filled with doubt. Had I really just heard the Lord give me instructions? Was I going crazy? Is this real? I cannot even begin to tell you all the different thoughts that were running through my head, so much so that I literally had to get up and leave to the bathroom to calm myself down. You're probably wondering what the Holy Spirit "said" to me and it was this: "Go to Cambodia and work with the orphans. You will experience evil you have never seen before. Satan is going to try to stop you, but with My power you can overcome it." The next day I came across agreaterhopeorphanage.com where I messaged Kit and Ream Carson about serving in their orphanage. I was stunned when I heard back that very same day within hours of sending the email. With much counsel and prayer I decided to follow where the Spirit was leading me. I decided to go to Cambodia.
The Lord truly never ceases to amaze me. Right after I had made my decision, everything started to fall into place. So many doors have been opened and the Lord has put so many people in my life these past few months who have actually been to Cambodia and know Khmer! I have been shocked at all that the Lord is doing to prepare me for this journey. There have been so many "coincidences" lately that I know are due to God's sovereignty and I am so thrilled. The Lord is truly at work and I am so excited to be used by Him to fulfill His mission!
Even though I have not even met the children at the orphanage yet, I feel like I know them already. Just looking at pictures of their precious smiles brings me such a longing to hold them in my arms right here and now! Just thinking about all of what is to come fills me with so much JOY and I pray that the Lord would prepare our hearts as we near closer and closer to what He has planned for us!
Grace and Peace,
~ Laura
"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep onself unstained from the world." James 1:27
How did this all come about you ask? Well, it is a pretty awesome story...let me fill you in.
Earlier this year during a worship service with many other fellow believers I felt the Holy Spirit speak to me while in prayer. Now, most of the time when I feel the Spirit speaking over me, He says things such as "Child, don't you know that I am the great I AM?," or the most common "Wait and see what I will do"; but this time it was very VERY different. He gave me specific instructions. This had never happened to me and I was very taken a back, and filled with doubt. Had I really just heard the Lord give me instructions? Was I going crazy? Is this real? I cannot even begin to tell you all the different thoughts that were running through my head, so much so that I literally had to get up and leave to the bathroom to calm myself down. You're probably wondering what the Holy Spirit "said" to me and it was this: "Go to Cambodia and work with the orphans. You will experience evil you have never seen before. Satan is going to try to stop you, but with My power you can overcome it." The next day I came across agreaterhopeorphanage.com where I messaged Kit and Ream Carson about serving in their orphanage. I was stunned when I heard back that very same day within hours of sending the email. With much counsel and prayer I decided to follow where the Spirit was leading me. I decided to go to Cambodia.
The Lord truly never ceases to amaze me. Right after I had made my decision, everything started to fall into place. So many doors have been opened and the Lord has put so many people in my life these past few months who have actually been to Cambodia and know Khmer! I have been shocked at all that the Lord is doing to prepare me for this journey. There have been so many "coincidences" lately that I know are due to God's sovereignty and I am so thrilled. The Lord is truly at work and I am so excited to be used by Him to fulfill His mission!
Even though I have not even met the children at the orphanage yet, I feel like I know them already. Just looking at pictures of their precious smiles brings me such a longing to hold them in my arms right here and now! Just thinking about all of what is to come fills me with so much JOY and I pray that the Lord would prepare our hearts as we near closer and closer to what He has planned for us!
Grace and Peace,
~ Laura
"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep onself unstained from the world." James 1:27
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