Chantrea

                                   This is sweet Chantrea. She is ALWAYS singing!

I must decrease...

Today has been a pretty relaxed day. I woke up taught Sam, taught the older english class,and taught the younger english class. I truly enjoy teaching these kids. They are so eager to learn. Today when I was talking to Ream, she was telling me about how the older kids can read and write english, but its conversational language that they struggle with. So, in light of this, which I probably should have figured out on my own, I decided to have them do some reading aloud and talking aloud. After they took turns reading a book about a dinosaur, I asked them to make up their own stories and tell it to the class. There are only about 8 in there, so there is really no pressure. They were nervous at first, hesitant, and kept saying they couldn't do it. I didn't let them slide though because I knew that they were capable of this that they just needed someone to tell them that they could do it. I gave them an example story I made up about a girl who climbed up in a tree. Then it was their turn. To hear the stories they made up were heartbreaking because it reflected so much of their real lives. Almost all of the stories included poverty.

The stories went like this:

One day I went to the market with my friend. We saw a shirt that we wanted to buy. The shirt was too expensive so we were sad. Then, a man came up to us and gave us some money. We were excited and bought the shirt and told the man thank you.

One time I went fishing and I caught a golden fish. He said he would give me anything I wanted. I told him I wanted a new house because my family is poor. The fish said he would give it to me. I went home to my wife and saw the new house and we were happy.

I woke up and went to the market. I saw a chicken cross the street. A car crashed into the chicken and it died.

One day I went to the market to buy something I wanted. I crossed the street and got hit by a car and died. Then the angels came and took me up to heaven where I lived forever and ever.

One time there was a boy who wanted to go to the city because he had never been to the city. He could not go because he was poor. Then he found some money on the ground and he was able to go to the city and buy things he wanted and eat pizza. 

Other stories included talking animals, but all included going to the city and eating pizza. I am assuming pizza is a rare thing for them and that they really enjoy it. Maybe us girls can pitch in and buy a few pizzas for them or buy ingredients to make a pizza. It's just a thought.

The younger kids LOVE being read to. I have probably read almost 7-8 picture books today. I think it is so awesome that they have this longing. It is so important for them if they are going to learn english.

This morning when I was talking to Ream she was telling me a little bit about her family and how luckily only a few of them were murdered in the Khmer Rouge genocide. Kit gave us a lot of books about some of the history with survivor stories in them. It is nauseating to read. I can't fathom that this only happened less than a few decades ago. People are so educated about the Holocaust, but there are so many other tragic genocides that have taken place that people are so unaware of. In fact, I didn't have a clue about the Khmer Rouge until my mom told me about it a few years ago when she was talking about our neighbors. Everyone still living today here has been affected some way or another. It is heartbreaking. At some point we will go to the genocide museum and visit the killing fields. As interested as I am in learning about it, I am also dreading it at the same time.

Tomorrow we are going up to "the mountain" where there are some ancient ruins that are even older than Angkor Wat. One of the orphanage staff's family lives up there and we are going to visit her family. A few of the kids are going with us. I have no idea what this will entail, but I am up for an adventure.

Jessica and Ginny came back from the market yesterday and had some fried bananas I tried. Wow. So delicious. The food here is very good. I have yet to venture into anything that may seem risky but I am working my way there. The children are always coming back from the market with these strange fruits. I try them and they are all SO incredibly sour! There is this little bitty green grape like fruit that tastes so bitter and sour it could burn your tongue! There was one fruit I tried, not sure what it's called, but it was a mixture between a grapefruit and an orange. Best thing I've ever tasted. Cambodians also use the chili sugar/salt stuff, but it was way too spicy for my liking.

Visiting the school and seeing all the needs for improvement and hearing Kit and Ream talk about and dream of the things they want to accomplish only gives me an even deeper desire to look into maybe coming to teach here. It is very easy to talk about, and say, oh, I want to do this, but now that I am here and see the realities of it all and the challenges I will face, it makes me doubt so much. Not doubt because I feel like the Lord is saying no, but doubt because I don't know if I can do this. And, I know it doesn't depend on me. Nothing depends on me. I guess its more of a dread and fear than doubt. I think to myself, Laura can you really handle this? This would be your home. This would be where you lived, where you bought groceries, where you worked. These people would be your community, your neighbors, your friends. Do you really want to do this? Every time we leave the orphanage these thoughts go through my mind. I know its not about what I want and the gospel doesn't call for me to follow my own desires and live an easy non- sacrificial life, but when you have that option, of living in the states with a comfortable job, comfortable house, comfortable family, and comfortable church it is hard to turn down. I don't know what's going to happen. I really don't. But, I do know that my God is a sovereign God and He has a brilliant plan for my life that will be for my good and His glory, whatever that may mean.

I am trying not to think about all of this or worry about the future and just enjoy my time here, but for some reason I can't help but think of what my future will with Cambodia and AGHO. I know when the Lord revealed to me to go that I felt this would only be the beginning. I am starting to doubt that, but in reality, I think I am just trying to convince myself that I can still just live the little happy American dream and be comfortable while still living out the gospel. I know that He calls us to lay down our life for the sake of the gospel and to count it all as lost and that this momentary affliction is nothing compared to the eternal glory we will have in Heaven, but it still doesn't mean I don't have a fleshly struggle. How much am I willing to do? How far am I willing to go? I know that the love God has for me does not change no matter if I am doing missions in a foreign country, or doing mission right in my own back yard, but I do know that He gave His life, and He calls us to do the same.

"For whoever would save his life will loose it but whoever looses his life for my sake will find it." Matthew 16:25

"He must increase, but I must decrease." John 3:30

Rain, school, and new shoes

Woke up yesterday to some clouds that eventually ended with some heavy rain. It made it really humid. I taught Sam, Kit and Ream's son, the older english class, and the youngest english class. I was not sure how much english the older kids knew, but I was shocked at their abilities. I am going to start reading to both classes everyday. It is so important that they are read to so they can hear what english (or southern english ;) ) sounds like. Since I don't necessarily have any lesson plans or curriculum, it can be difficult to come up with things that will be on their level but also will challenge them. I am amazed at how much the older kids know. They are so bright! Since most of the younger kids don't know much english, it is hard to sometimes keep them quiet or give them instructions on what I want them to do. I am trying to do things in a pattern so they can know what to expect. I am going to try to learn some phrases in Khmer that will help me keep their attention. 

Kit brought us to the school today. The school was originally just a church, but now it functions as a school as well. He showed us all the classrooms. There are about 5. They have about 15 desks to a room. The rooms are medium size and have a few posters on the wall, but other than that there are no other resources for the students. Not only do the orphanage kids up to 6th grade go to the school, but kids (who can afford $6 a month) from the village attend as well. Kit and Ream are trying to add upper grades to the school because it only goes to 6th grade right now. The school has only been open for about a year. They will be building another building this month to add to the school. The high school age kids have to go to public school and they hate it. As I've mentioned, the public school system is so corrupt and the students learn nothing. It amazes me how much these kids want to learn. Children in the United States hate school, but these kids love learning, so much so that they study a few hours a day even on their summer vacation.

I'm getting to know the children better and better each day and can see their individual personalities coming out. Some of them are very outgoing and love to play and interact, especially the ones who know english pretty well, whereas others are very shy and tend to stay at a distance. The smallest child is named Nyatt. She is so precious. I am trying to get to know her, but she keeps her distance. It makes me wonder why. I am getting better and better with the names- of the girls atleast. I can pretty much name them all, whereas the boys I am still having a little trouble. I am still working on that.

The boys got soccer cleats and jerseys from Alissa. They love playing soccer and normally play barefoot but don't have to anymore. They were thrilled! It was so joyful seeing them be so excited over this. Alissa told me later that night that one of the children came up to her and asked her again how long she was staying, the girl then proceeded to say with excitement that they could have the shoes for 3 months. They didn't understand that they were getting to keep the shoes. They were estatic when they found out. They also got jersey to wear which they were super excited about.

Last night I went up to the little girls room to give them some gifts of chap stick and hair barrettes. They were so excited and grateful. I still have a few more things for them that I can’t wait to give to them.

Just a glimpse.

                                                 This is Chennda. She is an angel.

                                         Lady I bought some bananas from in the village market.

                                                          The market in the village.

                                                       Some special fish on a stick.

                                                               The beautiful rice fields.

                                          This is where the animals are kept and tended to.

                                                     Ream with some of the girls.

                                      It's amazing to see all of the silly games they come up with.

                                        This is Chantria and Lisahn. Lisahn is Mao's daughter.

                                         The little girls kept putting all these flowers in my hair.

                                                                Sweet, Chennda.

                                                         This is Weed. He is awesome.

I have many more pictures to come!

His light will shine when all else fades

8/7

Yesterday was a really good day. I was able to teach an English class with the younger group. They know some English, but not much so it can be kind of difficult to convey what I am trying to get across. They are pretty well behaved. They listen and are attentive most of the time. It’s so sweet because whenever they answer a question, they stand up. Its part of the culture here, I’m assuming. I really enjoyed teaching the class. It just gives me confirmation that I chose the right career path…now the question is just where.

We got to go to the village market yesterday. I was not anticipating having this experience while here, but I am so glad I did. The market is just down the road from the orphanage. We take bikes. It was like what you see on tv national geographic. There were meats hanging, pigs head, weird fish stuff, and lots of fruits and vegetables. Since we went in the afternoon and not the morning, there were scarce pickings. I bought some bananas. They are really really tiny. I tried them last night, and wasn’t really a fan. I also got an apple and a pear which I have yet to eat. The woman selling us fruit was trying to rip us off since we were obviously white. Haha. Glad we had Jessica with us to help us understand a little bit better. She is really good with the language and picked it up pretty quick…I can’t even remember the kids name yet, but I am proud to say I do know a few Khmer phrases, such as, “what is your name?” The one thing I say the most to the kids. They are all so beautiful and I have so much fun with them. Sometimes I’ll say something and they’ll laugh at me….I wonder what it is that I am doing that tickles them J When we were in the village market, some of the kids went with us and wanted to get something to eat. They ordered some buhbah, or buhbi, which is just a rice soup. I wanted to try some, but haven’t gotten that brave yet. It worries me since it is from the village, even though it’s probably fine because its boiled, I still will have to work up the courage. We all sat down at a make-shift table with plastic chairs while some of the kids ate. The young boy who was helping serve gave us all glasses of “water.” I was shocked to see how dirty the water was. I couldn’t believe it. It literally was brown. I am glad that they are trying to put up some wells nearby. On the way back from the market we took the back way through some rice fields, it was SO beautiful!

The food here is so incredibly good! Mao is Ream’s sister and she cooks our meals. I basically feel like I am going to a Chinese restaurant every day. Really, it’s even better than anything like that because it’s all fresh, like killed the chicken yesterday, picked the vegetables this morning fresh!

Ream came down and talked to us girls about the education situation in Cambodia. I could talk about how bad education is in Alabama, but it is luxury compared to what is offered here. The public school system is so incredibly corrupt. Most of the teachers are not certified, and BOUGHT their degrees without any schooling what so ever. The school day lasts from about 7ish-6, I think. But, there is a trick to it, see the kids have about 2-3 hour long breaks during the day. If the teacher decides to stay and help the kids during this break, they get paid extra. So, out of selfish gain, they don’t teach during the normal school hours, but during the break so they can get paid overtime plus what they earn during the teaching hour. If the kids aren’t able to stay for tutoring, they don’t learn. When it comes to the tests, the teachers bribe the kids and tell them they can get a good grade if they bring them rice or pay them money.  The teachers are so incompetent. Ream said that they don’t teach at all, that they will just go outside and sit around and talk.  When I was helping some of the kids with their school work in math, I was surprised at the level of math that they are doing. Some of it I could not do, especially when one came up to me and asked me to help her with a physics problem…yeah, right. This is why the school the orphanage is trying to add to is so important. They actually have the true desire to help these children learn and equip them to rise up in their own society as a leader who can promote change. Most of the Khmer people are very stuck in their old ways, no matter what you try to tell them. A church who is partnering with the orphanage is trying to build wells so the people can have access to clean water, but the people refuse to use them sometimes and continue drinking dirty water.

I now will be teaching Kit and Ream's son who is in about 3rd grade every morning for about an hour. Jessica normally works with him,but I am glad I can give her a much needed break. We had our first learning time today, and it was really fun. I'll also be continuing to teach the younger kids english class. Tonight, I am also doing Bible study with them. Kit has said that all of the children have said that they are professing Christians, but he says he isn't really sure if they understand what all that means. I think I am going to teach on Romans 8:1 tonight, and talk about sin, how it separates us from God, and how Jesus is the only way for us to have access to God because of His death on a cross when He took our sin and God's wrath. I hope I can communicate the gospel in a meaningful way that they can understand. Please pray that I do. 

We are going to try and take the kids to the beach for a little summer vacation for a few days.  This should be very interesting. I hope that everything works out for us to be able to do this with the kids. I know it would mean the world to them.

I am still shocked by the poverty. I thought I had witnessed poverty in the Domincan (and the reason I compare everything to that is because its the only other international mission trip I've been on). There is just so much poverty here. Even in the city, things are very dirty and rough in most places.

So far this has been a great experience. I pray that the Lord would open up my eyes to whatever He has in store. I don't know what my future with Cambodia will hold, but I am certain that there is one. I am going to try and not think about it too much though, and just enjoy my time here. I don't want to worry or burden myself with thoughts of uncertainty or anxiety about what will come. Please pray I can fight against this tendency to worry. Sufficient is today's troubles.

The kids get up every morning around 5:30. They do their chores and eat breakfast, do laundry, then they study bible and school work. They are taught the english class based on group and while others are learning, some are playing. Lunch is at about 11. The kids have a new verse they learn each week and all recite it in unison before blessing the food. It is so sweet to hear the little children pray in Khmer. 

As some of you know, I am a really big nerd when it comes to things like plants and bugs and animals, I just can't help it- it fasinates me! So far I've witnessed a weird looking toad, small bluish gecko, large ugly cockroach, and a bug that seemed like it was a mixture between a grasshopper, spider, and beatle. It was very strange. I discovered this bug because one of the little boys was throwing it at some of the girls, and they would throw it back. It was hilarious, granted they were supposed to be paying attention since it was bible study time. The kids do the funniest things. Its fascinating to see what they will do with some of the simplest stuff. For example, they have this long stretchy string that they are constantly jumping over, under, or saying a rhyme and jumping over it. They kept chanting something and hopping on one foot, I finally asked one of the girls what they were saying and she said they were saying, "Icecream, icecream!" Haha I found that rather entertaining. Ginny and I tried to join the fun, but it didn't really work out. We were better as just bystanders.

Last night, the weather was cool and breezy. We were able to play outside with the kids- this is always my favorite part. I love interacting with them! Two of the little girls were so precious! They kept on putting these little white flowers in my hair which some I didn't know were there til later discovered that night!

There was one boy, I am not sure of his age, who came in this morning with some of the girls who had gone to the market. He is deaf and is special needs. The joy he has is overwhelming! He is so joyful, vibrant, and happy! He melts my heart, he truly does. He cannot speak, but often uses some sign language and gestures. God bless him, he is such an inspiration. I can just see the joy he has, so much so that he just dances! I pray the Lord can break me of control so I can feel as free as he does, because, surely I have freedom in Christ!

Please continue to pray for all of us here, Jessica, Alissa, Ginny, and myself. Also please pray for Ream, she has been under the weather a tad. 

Posting pictures soon, I promise!

God Bless,

Laura

Peace.

First, I'd like to thank everyone for praying for me! I have been given such a peace that I cannot even explain and all fear is relinquished! The flights were very long and tedious, but all went smoothly. Things got a little confusing once I reached Seoul, but other than my suitcase wheel breaking, everything has been perfect! I sat by a world reonwn musician/composer who plays the viola on the way to Korea, we had some interesting conversations. Once I got to Siem Reap at about 10:30 at night, is when I got a little nervous. I went through the small airport and went outside and was met by a young man from the hotel I was staying at. I didn't know if we were going to get in a car, a bus, or what. Well, it was neither of those, it was a tuk-tuk. This is basically like an open carraige attached to the back of a motorcycle. I got on the tuk-tuk and we went off into the city. There were barley any street lights and to say that this guy was an insane driver would be an understatement haha. If you've ever been anywhere foreign, you'll know what I mean- traffic laws are nonexsistent. It was about a 30 mintue ride and after about 20 minutes, he turned and we started going on the dark, poverty stricken, back roads. That's when I got a little nervous. I thought to myself, Okay, Laura you are about to be sold in slavery. This obviously didn't happen, but I was a little apprehensive as we went on all the back roads.

I got to the hotel and checked in. It was mainly outdoors but the rooms were air conditioned with hot water. I got in the room and after a harsh reality check I just sat there on the bed in shock. This is it. I am here, in Cambodia, I made it, I thought. I got unpacked and ate a energy bar, took a shower, and went to bed. I cannot even describe to you everything I felt that night. I was given such an immense peace. I felt like I was in my own safe sanctuary in that little room. I knew for a fact that I was surrounded by angels and being watched over and protected. Never in my life have I felt so encompassed by this strong feeling of peace that surpasses all understanding. 

The next morning, I woke up, ate a very American breakfast, which I was dissappointed in because I really wanted to try something Khmer. But, since it was a hotel, they knew that people coming would probably prefer westernized food. I met the tuk-tuk at about 6:15 and we went off into the city back to the airport so I could catch a flight to Phnom Phen. It was interesting to see the same rout in the daylight. There is so much poverty and everything is so dirty. It is much different from what I experienced in the Domincan Republic. I took a very small propelled plane to Phnom Phen. Let's just say there was a little turbulance- really though, it was fun, I felt like I was on a rollercoaster.

I finally landed in the capital and met up with Kit, and later Ginny and Alissa. We met Jessica in the city and ate lunch at a little restaurant; the food was really good. We then went to the market to stock up on some food- groceries are very expensive here, so we got only what we couldn't find back in the village near the orphanage. 

We finally arrived at the hotel after about an hour drive. It was surreal. We got out of the car and were met by Ream, Kit's wife, and their two sons, Sam and Joseph-these two are a hoot! Then, after unloading, we were finally able to meet the kids! Most of them know english pretty well. I am trying to learn their names but having a little trouble. Some names are easy to remember like, Nop, Wat, Weed, Long, Tong, Minglee, where as others I cannot even pronounce. Ream gave us a tour of the orphanage, where the kids sleep, the gardens, the farm section-they have many, many animals and grow many vegetables. We then ate dinner with the kids at about 6. Our food was cooked separately by Mao, who is Ream's sister. The food was SO good! It was like rice with a meat, vegetables, and a grass like vegetable. We were all very full. 

After dinner, the kids take showers and have Bible study. Jessica does the worship and leads the study with a translator. We got to worship with the kids-what an experience! It is always so moving when you here other worshipping in a language other than your own. It reminds you that God is not confined and that everyone, everywhere, all over the world needs Jesus.

We formally introduced ourselves to the kids and then we were headed to bed. I am surprised I even remember anything from yesterday because, I felt like I was in a dream the whole time due to exhaustion from jet-lag. 

There are a view things that I am going to have to get used to. It is custom to take off your shoes whenever you enter a house- I normally even wear shoes inside my own home and hate being barefoot. It is very muggy and humid here, though yesterday was cool and breezy, probably about in the 80's. I am really trying hard to pick up on the language. I've got my little flashcards and stuff, but still feel completely lost. haha. 

The children are so unbelievably precious. They are all so disciplined, so far, haha, and seem to all really enjoy each other. They have chores everyday which mainly consist of feeding and tending to the animals and working in the garden, others help with the kitchen. Yesterday, when some of the boys were doing their chores in the farm, they were about to kill a turkey-we all decided it would be best if we didn't see that just yet. I am glad I didn't, but I know I will be witnessing a lot of different things that I am not used to and that is the fun part.

One of the kids, I think it is Boren, or Darrow, I can't remember, has a horrible scar on the right side of his face, I can only imagine what that is from. The kids come from abusive, poverty stricken homes. Some of them have really rough pasts. 

I can feel Christ here. He is here and He is working here at AGHO. It is very obvious. The thought of coming here long term scares me a little to think about, but I do feel the Lord has placed a desire on my heart. I don't know what's going to happen, but God does. I am trying to be as open and receptive as possible, please pray me about this. As I was talking to Kit about the school, he was telling me about a science class and how he wants more interactive, hands-on, visual teaching. See, that is exactly what I want to do, whether in the U.S. or here or wherever. I love science and I want to make it fun for the kids, and it is something that is universal- the laws of physics don't change. 

Feeling a little nauseous with headache, and still very tired this morning. Please pray that the Lord would give me, and the other girls, the ability to fight our flesh. I am so excited to be here finally, and I can't thank you all enough for all of the prayers and encouragement. It makes SUCH a difference. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

Not sure what God has in store for the next few weeks, but I ready and willing to do what He asks of me. That's easy to say, but VERY hard to actually do. Please pray for preserverance for us all, even here at the beginning. 

I will try to take some pictures today and get them up here!

God Bless,

Laura :)

We are adopted as his sons and daughters

Well, it's about 9:30, and we are getting ready to head to Atlanta in just a few hours to catch my morning flight. I am both excited and nervous, but I am ready to serve the Lord and see what He has in store. I have to remember that. I have to remember that I am serving the LORD. Whether or not I see the results I desire doesn't matter. The sweet lady I have been living with reassured me that everything is going to be alright; I have obeyed and that's all I have been asked to do. Her and her daughter who is a very close friend, prayed over me before I left their house today. I am so thankful for that. I am so thankful for all of the prayers that are being sent up on my behalf. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I literally can feel it!

This past week has been crazy. I have been in shock probably up until this morning. I was studying for my math final with a friend before the test and I just lost it. It all started to flood onto me at once. She prayed over me and I am so thankful for her.

I don't think I would be as "scared" if it weren't for the fact that I am traveling alone and will stay the first night alone in a hotel in Cambodia by myself. That's the part that I get nervous about. I know that the spiritual battle is not over. It is just beginning, and I am very aware that I am going to experience some things that are not so pleasant. A close, older, female friend from my church, and one who I'd consider a mentor, has constantly been praying the armor of God over me from Ephesians. I know that this is so important because I know that I am going into battle. I know that things are going to change very drastically when I return. I don't know why or how, but I just know they will. I have been given a warning, yet also been given much, much peace.

Some other missionaries about my age that I have talked to who have been to the orphanage have told me that there is quite a present of evil in Cambodia. I know that the Lord has been preparing me for what I will encounter. It makes me nervous thinking about it. I have been given a sense of urgency when I think about what lies ahead for me this month in Cambodia. I can't help but think about all of lost people who bow down to false gods. I just want to take them and hold them and tell them how much Jesus loves them! I want to tell them that their idols are nothing but demons! I want to tell them that there is freedom in Christ Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith! Our Redeemer, Father, Comforter and Protector!

I can't wait to see all of the beautiful faces of the children at AGHO! I feel like I already know them! I can't wait to play with them and teach them about Jesus and help them with their school work and tell them how much Jesus loves them! I want to tell them how they have been adopted by Holy God our Father and that when we are Christians, we are all adopted as sons and daughters!

As I drove to my home town today, I couldn't help but think about these children. Tears just streamed down my face at the thought of what they have probably had to go through and have seen in their lives. There is such a sense of grief in this country. Pretty much anyone who is alive today has a relative who was affected by the recent genocide. Ream, the orphanage Mom has many experiences with this in her own family.

Cambodia needs restoration and healing! Please pray for this lost nation! I also ask that you would pray for me as I travel by myself this weekend. Please pray that the Lord would protect me, and that everything will go smoothly. As always, please pray for the children, Kit and Ream, and the other young women who I will be joining once I get there- Jessica, Alissa, and Ginny. Also, please pray that some of the people I encounter while I am by myself would know English haha.

No turning back,

Laura :)